soooo... chillin here at the peak. it doesnt get much better than this place. except if Chris was here. lets roll back time a sec. take it back about two years. sunny day. summer. schools out. Dashboard Confessional is playin on the Stereo while that runner kid tuned his guitar to match it. not a care in the world. it was just me, chris, and our bikes. everything was perfect. nothing to do cuz Travis AFB was the most boring place around. but thats where we lived, and we had to deal with it. and there was this place i hadnt been to yet. it was called the Peak. who ever heard of a christian internet cafe. well now i had, and that was our place. it wasnt just a christian internet cafe though. it was the location of me and chris most afternoons. it was the answer to "what should we do?" it was the site of new friendships and the furthering of already existing ones. it wasnt about the peak though. it was about a friendship that never saw faults. it never saw arguments. it never saw disagreements, unless Medal of Honor was playing on PlayStation 2 (haha remember that Chris?). this friendship was about accountability in our relationships with God. about going to youth group and finally finding another guy who got the whole God thing as completely as you did. And when school started. had a rough first four periods? who cares man! just wait till lunch. you can go walk around and talk about how stupid all the drama in the group was and laugh it off. cuz who ever heard of drama when Zack Helton and Chris Baca walked the halls. they were too busy having a good time and enjoying the good life. this was about an inseperable friendship. this was about a rainy afternoon when I was busy in the garage tinkering away at a school project and Chris walked in. could he have just called me? no.... it was too important for a phone call. this was going to be life changing. i looked up from my work, and he said something i didnt EVER want to hear. "my mom got her orders in. we're moving to Alaska." and the months that led up to that were bitter sweet. no one ever got it. they always told me i would get over it. theres more people out there. friends, family, and those who care about you the most told you it would be better. then that first day of school back without my best friend. and the one guy that understood it came up to me and said a few words that have been ringing in my ears ever since then. it was Corey Watson. "Lost your wingman didnt you?" "yea" i said. "dont get another one" and that was all he said. short and sweet. and he was right. so as i sit here in the peak with Dashboard Confessional playing on my ipod, heres to you, Chris.

Well God definitely has a sense of humor, and while this scenario is fresh in my mind id like to go ahead and document it. so prom can basically shove it. this all started about 24 hours ago when i got an out of the blue myspace message, and it has been a rough 24 hours. but before we get to that lets jump back a couple months to where this whole thing REALLY originated. yes if you dont already know, me and Bry had some sort of SOMETHING. i dont kno what the heck it was. it wasn't friends but it wasnt "dating." it was an ish. so thats what we'll refer to it as. you call it what you want. im still not really sure what to call it. anyway. so i get this myspace message from a friend of mine, who by the way, has only "known" me for not quite two weeks and even then, hasnt said too much to me. but she does the unthinkable. in two respects. 1) she asks me to prom- mistake number one. im a classy guy. the GUYS ask the GIRLS. its not the other way around. 2) she asks me in a myspace message- mistake number two. being classy, if you're going to do something like that, do it in person. anyway the two golden rules have been broken, no questions asked. so i basically told it like it was. you can argue whether what i did was of jerk status or not. but i did feel bad- jerk or no jerk. i nicely explained that i already had intentions of asking another person, but that it was nothing against her. and it wasnt, i really did. but i hadnt quite figured it out yet. i had it narrowed down to about two people. and if you havent already guessed who one of them is. see the beginning of this post. however, this was the idiot side of myself speaking very naively to me. my more sensible side was saying "Sophia!" i figured why not, shes a cool girl, and would be a very good date for prom. it would be strictly on a friends level, so there would be no relationship drama to follow. a fun night all in all. now the trick with this is to make that happen. well let me tell you i was pretty stressed out after that myspace message so i spoke to several people online for advice on what action to take. Bry happened to be one of these people. a negative side to this was that she took it to mean me hinting at a possible proposal for prom (you freakin loved that alliteration) between me and her. i saw where she was going with it, and once again my idiot side spoke up- "Sweet! do it!" and then the angel on my other shoulder explained to me the faults. well those two views fought with eachother all night and day until after school when i had to make a decision. 5th period was when i really started to see the light tho. i thought back to last year's military ball when i took joanna. that was horrible. a word of advice: dont ever take someone to a formal dance if you like them and the feeling is not mutual. it ends in crushed hopes and depression. that would be what would happen if i took Bry. the situation is simple enough to see. she doesnt like me anymore. i am still very much attracted to her, but that same feeling for her is geared toward someone else, who happens to be a good friend of mine. the situation at the moment is already weird enough though. it really sucks seeing the one you lost chasing after a good friend of yours who is considering letting her catch him. going to prom with her would complicate things. so the idiot on my left shoulder was kicked off by the angel on my right, but that stupid idiot continues to barely hang on. so after school i had made my decision. Sophia would be the one. After all, any bystander would tell me to go for her over Bry most definitely. so i asked someone i thought may already have intentions of asking Sophia if it was cool for me to ask Sophia, as i had a sneaking suspicion he might be planning the same thing, but he said it was totally cool and he didnt have the intentions. so there we were. me and sophia. after school. chillin alone. now was as good a time as any. so i popped the question of prom. and dun dun dun. rejection. dang. sucks. the worst part was i had a sneaking suspicion that she wanted the guy i talked to to ask her, which she did, and that was her reasoning for negating my proposal. and all i picture is God in heaven laughing since i paid for what i got. i wanted to be like "but hes not going to ask you!" but that would have made things worse. anyway now im in a catch 22. so hopefully the next 24 hours wont be so rough and this situation will improve. and all the while that idiot keeps hanging on...

Here's the scenario: i arrived at Rodriguez High School this morning at about 7:30 and didnt get to leave till about 1. wanna kno why? SATs. which basically SUCK. stands for Stupidly Annoying Test. and i never want to do them again. but i have to. testing for four freakin hours can basically go die. i did not like that at all. and writing an essay in 25 min? i've heard of writing one in 45 min. but 25?? you gotta be kidding me. and there were so many words on there ive never seen before let alone heard of. before the next time i take it, im basically going to have to memorize the dictionary. whatever... it made leaving put me in one of the happiest moods ever since it was finally over. except that it was at Rodriguez which is like on the other side of the country. wasted a good amount of gas driving out there. through the whole test all im thinking is "i cant believe i paid money to do this..." its ridiculous. ok i think im done venting about the SAT. which makes me feel so much better. i wanna go fly. could have flown in a Citabria today but michael talked me out of it. whatever. he can kiss it. he needs to learn how to live a little. im not asking for a LOT but just a LITTLE. o and i got accepted as the Delegate for Vanden High School to the Boys State Convention this summer at the Capitol, which is a huge honor that i cant help but be proud of myself for. Well i think i might go catch a nap before work. later...

smelled spring for the first time yesterday. walked out of english and it just about smacked me in the face. but man was i glad. i love that. the first time you breathe in and realize the season is changing. especially when you are exiting winter. as much as i love snowboarding, its never sad to see winter go. i. hate. being. cold. period. some of you are probably thinking im crazy... "smelling seasons?? is this guy nuts??" but i bet many can agree with me. lets see what else is going on.... o yes, school. sucks. I find out tomorrow if ive been accepted as the delegate for Vanden High to the Boys State Convention in Sacramento this summer. its been a long process just to apply so ill be rather disappointed if i dont get it. i had to turn in a large package of information including a resume, biographical essay, transcripts, letters of recommendation, not to mention interviews in front of a 7 member board. it should be an AWESOME experience if im accepted. itll also look really good on college apps. speaking of college apps, SATs on saturday. woo hoo! not. thats gonna suck pretty bad. and through all this ive been completely distracted from my pilots license. i REALLY need to finish that. ive been putting it off for waaaaaaaaaaay too long. but next week ill be gone from FCS which will make my life at least 50% easier. lol yea... to think that place calls themself a christian organization. psha! less than a week.... cant wait till this one is over.